Sure, Money Can Buy Me Health, Comfort, and Political Power, But It Can’t Buy Me LOVE.
You poor people don’t know just how good you have it! Honestly. I would trade away all the riches in my off-shore tax haven bank accounts just to have one oodle of the love you poor people get. I won’t do that, but in theory I’m green with envy. Oh yeah, you guys have it great over there, with all that love stuff, it’s quite literally priceless. I haven’t an ounce of the stuff, and by golly even though I have the ability to sway the very laws of the land at my whim, or simply buy my own country and enact my own laws, that love you have is SO desirable and so unreachable for me, that even as I sit in my golden throne attached to my dopamine machine do I grow jealous. God knows I could never obtain any love on my own, because as a billionaire I lack all the most basic social skills required to ever win the affection of my wife and children.
Sure, I may be able to afford more spare time to spend with my family than you, with which to bask in their lo- er, mild admiration, and lavish them with the attention they need. And sure, I may be able to afford giving each and every one of them the careers and lives they wish to lead without any additional stress on myself, and SURE. I may be able to afford any and all therapists, health professionals or medication I might require to live the most fulfilling and healthy lifestyle, but…uh.. where was I going with this?
Oh yes. Love is indeed the only thing outside of my wealthy grasp, so know that you poors are really the winners in this particular situation. Please return to your various poor people jobs and loving squalor, to make me even richer, and by extension, uh, less loved. No need to get mad at my kind, or try to take away the vast mountain of riches upon which I slumber, because really we’re equals! You got the love thing, I got the money thing! Totally fair trade. I’m just a big ol’ scrooge over here, yes siree, while you’ve got a whole Wonderful Life thing happening, good for you! You stay in your lane, I’ll stay in mine. A regular Yin and Yang, really making the world go ‘round together. And who knows! Keep toiling away for minimum wage, and someday you might somehow obtain even more money than ME! Oh, but the love thing you’ll still have, because really you’re the spiritually superior one here. You can have it all! Theoretically! Just… stop making a fuss, yeah?
Sincerely,
~ Heartbroken Billionaire
